So I just bought a turkey fryer…
By MF Grocery
…and the game done changed. I want to deepfry a turducken.
A few hurdles to overcome:
-Hot oil and stuffing
-Large mass = long cooking time = overcooked turkey
Some suggestions were to:
-Cook each bird separately and then assemble
-Eliminate the stuffing all together
-Batter (whoa)
How do we do this properly at Grocery Eats?
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The Koolickle Test – RESULTS
By MF Grocery
This thing was fucking horrible.
koolickle1.jpg
I picked the brightest one to feature here since the others maintained their color pretty well. It just tasted like shit and maybe that’s what I get for using higher-end pickles than Justin (my sister-in-law’s boyfriend). These bitches sat in the modified brine for over 4 weeks and this is what the inside looked like.
koolickle2.jpg
It wasn’t sweet or sour, just kind of blah. The pickles absorbed nearly all of the color in the brine which leads me to believe that I didn’t use enough of the double-strength Kool-Aid. Well, I’m going to try it again (purple this time) except with a gallon jar of pickles and add way more Kool-Aid and sugar.
• Rants
The Meat House
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GAME OVER.
A few months ago I was talking about things that I really want to do, such as:
1. Shoot someone with a submarine sandwich out of a potato gun.
2. Buy a shitty $200 car and do stupid shit to it like installing dual functioning toilet seat moonroofs and coffee can exhaust tips. After all of the abuse and it can hardly drive anymore, shoot the gas tank with a flaming arrow then drive it off a cliff hoping it explodes in mid-air.
3. Run down a steep gravel trail really fast then try to stop.
4. Pizza Burger
5. Brew my own beer.
Then my dude Shovel enters in the conversation with pics and details of the “Motherfucking Meat House“.
Here’s what he had to offer:
Ingredients:
~20 sausages
12 rashers of bacon
1 kg of sausage meat
2/3 packet of bread crumbs
=5870 calories
The grass is sausage meat with food dye
the walk is bread crumbs
All he asks is that you play “Party Up” by DMX when you look at these pictures.
cooked-meathouse.jpg
Seriously just look at that thing. It’s absolutely amazing. We’re still debating if that blue thing in the front yard is a meat bird bath, meat swimming pool or meat mailbox but whatever. Oh the landscaping… It’s beautiful!
• Rants
It sounds aweful at first but think about it:
-Bacon and maple syrup
-Bacon, maple syrup and waffles (choc. chip?)
-Bacon and chocolate. Those bacon chocolate bars are pretty good.
-Waffles and whipped cream
-Waffles and ice cream
Add all that and you get bacon ice cream with a maple syrup swirl. Scoop it on top of a chocolate chip belgian waffle for a sexplosion of flavor. Just in case the bacon ice cream tasted like shit (and to appease Sarah), I decided to split the base and make half bacon/maple and the other half Nutella, raspberry/ameretto and hazelnut.
Last night Sarah and I prepped the base and all of the ingredients for both ice creams. The base recipe is pretty rich and called for 3 cups of half and half, 1 cup cream, 8 egg yolks, 9 ounces of sugar (apprx. 1 1/8 cup) and 2 teaspoons of vanilla. We simmered the cream and half and half while the sugar and eggs were whisked together. Once the eggs and sugar went pale, we tempured the eggs/sugar with the dairy and moved the mix back to the heat until it hit 175 degrees F. After a 20 minute rest we added the vanilla and placed the base in the refrigerator overnight.
Because I was going for a hint of bacon we minced 2 strips and removed all the visible fat. After the bacon was prepped we focused on the maple syrup which was too thin to create a swirl. Approx. 1/4 cup of Vermont’s finest was simmered until it hit thread stage and then cooled to room temp before moving everything to the refrigerator for overnight storage.
After the bacon prep was out of the way we started on the other ice cream. Roughly a handfull of frozen raspberries were simmered with 1/8 cup of sugar and some ameretto. Once cooked down, I strained the mixture to remove seeds and let it cool while I chopped up the hazelnuts.
This morning I poured the base into our ice cream maker (I highly recommend this Krups model) and let it go for 25 minutes. Here’s a shot of it before we mixed it in this morning.
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After the base was out of the ice cream maker we split it in half.
Bacon:
When I took the syrup reduction out of the refrigerator this morning it was way too stiff so a few seconds in the microwave got it to proper mixing consistancy. We mixed in the bacon thoroughly and then followed with a few folds of the warmed maple syrup before moving it to the freezer.
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Raspberry/Nutella:
This one was pretty easy too. I mixed in the hazelnuts, folded in the raspberry/ameretto syrup with 3 large spoonfuls of Nutella and then moved it to the freezer.
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I got a chance to taste both of them and while the bacon version was odd, it didn’t taste bad. In all fairness, the raspberry/Nutella version is amazing. Looking back I’m so glad I took out that extra insurance policy. Ice cream and waffles for dinner tonight!
• Rants
Jalapeno/Bacon Infused Vodka?
Three strips of bacon and one whole jalapeno, sliced length-wise were placed into the vodka chamber tonight. Sarah said, “the fat rising to the top of the bottle looks like a lava lamp”. Brunch at our place in three weeks.
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