Mammer Jammer

If you live in St. Louis and don’t suck then you’ve probably been to Mammer Jammer. Right around the corner from Natural Bridge and Kingshighway, this spot has been killin’ the St. Louis cheese steak game for years.

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This, ladies and gentleman, is the motherfucking Mammer Jammer. There are 8 levels of heat that you can choose on the sandwich; going from most pussy to hottest there’s regular, mild, hot, extra hot, super hot, “Mary Francis”, “Big John”, and “IT”.

I asked the owner about the sandwich names and started with Mary Francis, he replied “what, you never heard Mary Francis before? It’s slang for MF’er”. “Big John is just like, Big Bad John”, and when asked about “IT”, he answered, “I don’t know, it’s just IT”. They claim to offer the hottest sandwich in town and I believe it.

Sure you could get a tripe, fish or polish sausage sandwich, but why? The operation’s namesake is the fucking truth. What separates the Mammer Jammer from the other steak sandwiches on the menu is the secret sauce that is poured over it once it comes off the grill.

It had been a while since I had one of these shits so I walked into the spot early Saturday afternoon before the lunch rush and had the opportunity to chat with the staff for a bit. I was telling them I had been there before and usually order the Mary Francis, also explaining how my ass usually stays on fire for 2 days after eating one of them. Jerry, who was working the grill, said my ass would be on fire for 3 days if I had the Big John. I refused and for $5 plus change went for the “Mary Francis” once again.

Here’s a shot of the griddle action. Note the habanero peppers ready to bring the ruckus to my colon.

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Here they top off the steak and peppers with a cheese slathered hoagie.

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Pre-Mammer Jammer chili sauce

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The aftermath wasn’t as bad as usual. Perhaps it had something to do with me getting the order to go and it cooled down a bit before I ate it. Next time I’ma go for the Big John and one day make it up to the “IT”.

If you live in St. Louis or are visiting, make sure to pick up some Tucks and stop by Mammer Jammer to see for yourself.

Mammer Jammer
5124 Natural Bridge Rd.
St. Louis, MO 63115
(314)381-1617

South Philly Love Child

Two of Philadelphia’s best consummated their greasy lust this past Sunday afternoon. The “Love Child”, as I’m calling it, consisted of 2 Lorenzo’s slices humping a Tony Luke’s chicken cutlet with broccoli rabe. The result, a few unbridled moments of sheer joy, resulting in an afternoon of heartburn.

After spending a little time at the Italian Market in South Philly, I decided it was time to hit up my favorite pizza spot in the city, Lorenzo’s on South Street. Lorenzo’s is known for it’s gigantic slices, long lines, no Parmesan, no spices, no forks, and mostly – no toppings. Despite what might be viewed by some as major setbacks, this place slangs slices by cutting their pies into quarters.

Quarter Pie Slices

About 30 blocks directly south of Lorenzo’s is Tony Luke’s. Everyone who is not from Philadelphia is all about cheesesteaks. After spending enough time in the city, I was turned on to the other great sandwiches and hoagies the city of brotherly love had to offer. Tony Luke’s has cheesesteaks, but everyone goes there for the roast pork and chicken cutlets. The chicken cutlet italian consists of several flat pounded and breaded chicken breasts, sharp provolone, and your choice of spinach or broccoli rabe served on a in-house baked hoagie roll. These things are heavenly, just be aware – if the garlic doesn’t get you, whole sweet peppers will.

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The rest is pretty self explanatory, after waiting about 15 minutes at each spot, the Love Child needed to be baked for about 10 minutes once assembled. Note – The pictures are full sized dinner plates and a x-large pizza box – these things were huge.

Kornet Pizza Cones

Oak Park Mall in suburban Kansas City was sort of blessed with the only Kornet Pizza franchise in America. We went to the food court on assignment for my dude Grocery. I say this because I hate this mall with a passion. The food court is pretty much the same since I was there a couple of years ago. They have a Panda Express, some sort of cheese steak and potato stand, a Subway (coming soon!), and a Sonic. All of these places were busy with hungry Friday afternoon shoppers, while I was the only person within at least twenty feet of the Kornet counter. All the details and pictures after the jump.

I can say one thing for Kornet Pizza: their staff is very friendly. They practically treated me like a regular. The fact that anyone was buying a pizza cone seemed to be a novelty to them. I ordered a veggie cone and the dude told me that he was going to “make one fresh for me if I had a couple minutes.” I looked at the cones that had been tanning underneath a heatlamp for awhile and decided that it would be in my best interest to go fresh. Each cone ranges from $3.99 to the five dollar range. I sat down and he called me out after about five or six minutes when it was ready.

The cone comes in some sort of modified tissue box. Taking the cone out, I was surprised at the lack of grease or “leakage.” That was before the first bite.

I would say that the pizza cone was 3/4 full of just mozzarella cheese. I didn’t reach sauce until about halfway into the cone. Not that an edible cup of melted cheese is a bad thing, the distribution of ingredients just seemed sort of off.

Then the cheese started to ooze. The consistency seemed a little off. I had to actually pull some of the cheese out because I realized that I was chewing on these insane bites of cheese like it was bubble gum and it was very disconcerting.

I think they were going for a thin crust, but it’s pretty bland and has the consistency of a saltine cracker, which doesn’t help in controlling the contents much. You could go to the Sbarro in the food court and wrap a slice up and have more success, and pizza, than at Kornet.

I gave up towards the end. I wouldn’t say that the pizza cone is awful. It was an interesting novelty food item, but I’m not sure how long the novelty can last. For me it was after about two bites. The staff is friendly and made a fresh cone for me, so I’m rooting for them. Otherwise, you can find me back at the Oak Park Mall food court in two more years, eating a SuperSonic cheeseburger and and a cherry limeade instead of pizza in a cone.

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I took the photo this weekend at the Soulard Farmer’s Market when trying to spot the dude that sells beaver. I didn’t find him but I did come across some ’coon.

What’s fascinating is that the spot was packed full of Saturday market go’ers. I didn’t want to wait in line and ask about their ‘coons because dudes behind the counter looked like they meant business. Besides, I didn’t have cooler to carry that mess back to my house. Maybe some other time if we get a good recipe from one of you readers.

Also, is it just me or do you also find the pet store reference below odd? I’m not sure I want to buy anything from this spot.

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Gus’s Salsiccia Pretzel Sandwich

Gus’s Salsiccia Pretzel Sandwich

Ride or Die. Don’t start whining about Philly having the best pretzels because you’re wrong and these motherfuckers from St. Louis are the heat.

Back in the day I used to have Gus’s pretzels after Cardinals baseball games or whenever me and my Pops would go to downtown St. Louis. Homeboy would be out slanging bags of these bitches on the street every weekend. We’d stop at an intersection and Pops would get a few sticks for the fam.

A few years back I finally made it to the factory where they were made, conveniently located right across the street from the Budweiser brewery. I was meeting up with my dude Chilly C and STUN, a graffiti artist who was airbrushing my turntables because I’m a boss like that. Anyway, he lived down the street from Gus’s and we decided to take a walk up there while STUN was hooking up the artwork. It was then that I was introduced to one of the most bangingest sandwiches ever, Gus’s Salsiccia Pretzel.

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I mean look at that thing. What’s there not to love? It’s a fucking pretzel, it’s a fucking salsiccia. Add mustard, eat. So simple and perfect in design it would probably be on the menu of my last meal.